Twin Summary: 46 Weeks

Of all the characteristics that distinguish my twins from each other, perhaps most notable is the composition of their booties.

Mercy has your typical baby butt. It’s soft, dimpled, and fatty throughout. When tapped, it jiggles like loose jello.

In complete contrast, Sam has the bottom of an Olympic athlete. It’s tense and tightened – almost like he’s continuously poised for a baby body building competition. No joke, it’s the most muscular butt I’ve ever seen or felt on a baby – not that I go around feeling baby behinds all the time – but have you ever touched a baby’s butt and thought “WOAH! That baby has a butt like Arnold Schwarzenegger!” No? That’s my point.

Anyway, something worth noting.

This is the summary for the babies’ 47th week. They were 46 weeks old.

News of the Gross:
I’m almost embarrassed to tell this story because it probably makes you wonder if I actually bathe or care for my children, but let me assure you, my house is (mostly) clean and my children are not neglected on any level.

Moving on from that disclaimer, I found a live animal nestled in my ten month old’s ear lobe and I am now certain it was there at least six weeks, if not longer.

How did this happen?

About two months ago I noticed a dark brown, flat piece of something on Sam’s ear (the back side of the lobe). The first day I thought it was food. I tried to pick it off but it was pretty stuck on there so I figured it could wait until bathtime. Naturally, at bath time I forgot about it being there. A few days later I noticed it again and tried to pick at it, but it wasn’t coming off so I figured it was a skin tag. At this point it was about the size of a grain of rice and it was mole colored. So I just left it there and meant to ask about it at the babies’ 9 month well check.

The well check came and went and I forgot to ask about it. So a week later when I again noticed it, I decided to start picking at it again. This time it came off. How weird! It must have been a scab, I thought.

Last week the scab was back though – again the size of a grain of rice. I left it alone and planned to bring it up at my 4 year old’s well check appointment, but forgot, so I decided instead to do some investigative work on my own. I grabbed the thing with both fingers and yanked. Got it! I put it in the palm of my hand to get a closer look and IT STARTED CRAWLING.

Gross.

So gross.

After furiously googling this, I can only deduce that whatever it was WAS NOT a bed bug and WAS NOT a carpet beetle. I am thinking it was a tick, but it wasn’t oval shaped like that – it was definitely more flat and thin. The legs were tiny and ran along the body like a caterpillar. So what the heck was it???

The first time I removed it I must have just broken part of it off and it grew back. This time I think I got the whole thing, but who really knows. Could there still be some buried in there?

Anyway. If this has ever happened to someone else, please speak up.

Schedule:
7:00am Wake, Nurse
7:30am Breakfast
8:50am Nurse, then down for Nap 1 at 9am
10:45am Wake, Nurse
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Nurse, then down for Nap 2
4:30pm Wake, Nurse
5:30pm Dinner
6:30-6:50pm Nurse, then bedtime

Sleeping:
I mentioned last week that Mercy had started to wake up in the middle of the night out of habit and wanted to nurse. I decided I was going to have to stop going in. Well, she must have sensed my resolve because that night she didn’t even wake up. The next night she woke once but fussed for like a minute before quieting down. She is back to sleeping through now. It sure doesn’t always go that way, but man that was easy.

Also on the Subject of Sleeping:
Last week I also mentioned that the babes like to wriggle to the corner of the crib so they are as close together as possible. This week they were both sleeping when nap time was over so I was able to capture the arrangement so you can see:

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Nothing else eventful happened this week. Just keepin on, keepin on.

 

ROUTINES (start your day on the right side of the bed)

I am convinced that the way a morning goes is the family’s equivalent to waking up on a certain side of the bed. When we say someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed we mean to say that they started the day grumpy, tired, unhappy, or irritable and it’s generally assumed to be a self-fulfilling prophecy: that is, the rest of the day seems to fall in line with the state of their bad attitude.

In the same way, if the first hour of the morning presents itself as chaotic, difficult, and uncooperative, the outlook for the rest of the day is dim. Our morning, in a sense, can wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

What is the key, then, to making sure our day starts on the right side? How do we set up the rest of the day for success?

Routine. Routine, routine, routine. 

You simply must have a morning routine – a general way the morning flows that repeats day after day. You do not need to follow a clock – some meals are faster than others, sometimes you have to be somewhere earlier or later, and sometimes the kids are just in some sort of mood – but there must be a predictable flow of events that the children (and you) can expect to run through each and every day (even the weekends, to some extent).

Your routine is what allows you to get everyone dressed, ready, and prepared for the day, to clean the house and accomplish a few daily chores without losing your patience and frankly your mind. It kicks the day off in a calm and productive manner, and this carries over throughout the rest of the day. A morning started in chaos has very little chance of redeeming itself before nap time – and maybe not even before bed!

What are the keys to having a successful routine?

First and foremost, everyone must know what the routine is. This is easy to accomplish – follow the same pattern every day and even the smallest children will pick it up quickly. My 10 month olds, for example, are familiar enough with our mornings to crawl straight from their rooms to their high chairs after I nurse them. They understand that after nursing comes breakfast.

Second, the routine should be systematic. I would suppose that the more children you have, the more systematic it must be. By systematic, I mean that you attack the things that need to get done in an organized, intentional manner. Of course there can be some flexibility to your routine, but a routine of “let everyone do whatever they want while I scramble around trying to pack lunches, start laundry, and wrangle everyone into their pants” is just as bad as having no routine at all.

Your preferred system may be more of an assembly line (everyone gets dressed, then everyone has their teeth brushed, then everyone has their hair done) or it may be working on one child at a time (I prefer this method – it’s motivating to me to finish one child and move on to the next). Your preferred system for getting in the car could be belongings first, then oldest to youngest, or it could be the other way around. It doesn’t matter what your system is specifically so long as you do follow a system for getting the kitchen cleaned, the house in order, and the children dressed, ready, and in the car if it applies.

Third, any task that can be accomplished independently should be accomplished independently. Think about who is doing what at each stage of the routine. After breakfast, my 2 year old will clear the table while my 4 year old unloads the dishwasher, and I dress the babies. I should not find myself assisting the 4 year old with drying the dishes because she is capable of doing that herself. When it comes to dressing, the 2 year old is capable of putting on his own underwear and pants and so he should. This frees me up to accomplishing something else during that time. It also keeps everyone focused on completing their task instead of making messes, arguing with each other, or occupying themselves with any number of other unhelpful things.

Fourth, do not allow yourself to get frazzled. Perhaps this point is redundant, because when your routine is in place and flowing well, there just isn’t much opportunity or reason to get frazzled, but I’ll mention it anyway. Stay calm. You are in control. You are following an established a routine and you know that as long as you continue along doing the next thing, it will all get done. Everyone will be dressed, the kitchen will be clean, the laundry will be started, and you will be on your way. Worry only about the particular part of the routine that you are completing at that moment, and it should keep you calm.

Fifth, and I know I may get some push back from this, eliminate electronics from your routine. This applies to both you and your children. You may think it’s a perfect idea to turn on a show for your toddler so you can clean up the breakfast mess, but I have found even young children have trouble recovering when screen time is over and they need to swiftly move into the next stage of the routine. As it applies to you, texting or checking social media in the middle of trying to get everyone ready is routine-suicide. I’ve even had to stop listening to podcasts because they can at times distract me from the next task at hand. Music is okay (and honestly, helpful sometimes!) but anything beyond that has the propensity to tragically derail the routine, and consequently, the morning.

We are creatures of habit, are we not? Everyone benefits from having a systematic routine in place. Starting your morning off this way essentially wakes you up on the right side of the bed and sets you up for a day that is smooth, productive, and pleasant.

Today everyone from the Babywise Friendly Blog Network is posting about routines! Check out their posts below.

BFBNWaterMark
JOURNEY OF PARENTHOOD
Incorporating Mommy’s Needs in the Daily Family Routine
CHRONICLES OF A BABYWISE MOM
The Key Element To Starting a Routine
MAMA’S ORGANIZED CHAOS
Benefits and Types of Routines – And How You Can Use Routines Without Using Schedules
TEAM CARTWRIGHT
Bedtime Routines- the 4 core parts you need for success

Twin Summary: 45 Weeks

FYI if you’re like when is she going to stop posting about these babies every single week the answer is when they are a year. I think at that point I can safely reduce the twin summaries to once a month and still not miss a thing. But I mean, at the same time, you’re the one reading this.

This is the summary for the babies’ 46th week. They were 45 weeks old.

Sick:
They are still sick. I think I mentioned they had pink eye two weeks ago. Well it came back. I got it again on round two as well. I assume it came back because a) I ran out of the medicine and they didn’t have the full 7 day dose and b) they are still sick so mucus drainage is still an issue.

I love how anytime you bring up pink eye with moms who know you’re nursing, they’re all like “just put some breast milk on it!”

First of all, I tried it and it didn’t work (also, note to self, babies do not like being squirted in the eyes with breast milk), but second of all, can we just reign in our expectations of the naturopathic benefits of breast milk a bit? Yes, human milk is the perfect beverage for human babies because it was specifically designed for them. But no, breast milk does not cure cancer. Or pink eye, for that matter.

Schedule:
We are still working with the same schedule. It’s weird because my last two babies dropped from two naps down to one mid-day nap around 13 months. Now I realize that’s a few months away, but considering the amount that these babies sleep there is no chance they will be doing that so soon. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad – we are in a really good morning groove so I don’t exactly mind, but it’s also nice to be able to get out for longer periods in the morning and not have to worry about nap time. I guess it just is.

7:00am Wake, Nurse
7:30am Breakfast
8:50am Nurse, then down for Nap 1 at 9am
10:45am Wake, Nurse
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Nurse, then down for Nap 2
4:30pm Wake, Nurse
5:30pm Dinner
6:30-6:50pm Nurse, then bedtime

Sleeping:
You know how I wrote last week that one or the other woke up in the night about once every two weeks and I could nurse them and it was fine? I totally ginxed it. The last 4 nights in a row Mercy has woken up, initially from sickness but presumably now out of habit. Tonight if she wakes I will probably go in and pat her butt or try to calm her with my voice, but I am going to stop the occasional MOTN nursing. I can’t be waking up every night here – I have too many children to take care of during the day!

Water:
I forget how you get a kid to start drinking water. I think I remember teaching Vera by putting juice in a sippy and giving it to her in the car. Juice provided the motivation and the car provided the boredom necessary for her to figure it out. I think Abel just knew intuitively. I don’t remember actively teaching him. But here we are with these babies, over ten months old and cannot drink water unless I force it into their little mouths. We will have to work on this. I cannot breastfeed forever and besides, giving them a peanut butter sandwich with no liquid to wash it down seems cruel.

Twin Stuff:
A few quick notes on the subject of twins:

  1. They sleep with their heads pointing toward each other. Even if I put them on the other side of the crib, facing the opposite direction, when I get them up from their nap they are both laying toward each other with their heads as close together as possible.
  2. They eat off each other’s plates. Always. Even though they have their own food on their own plate right in front of them.
  3. I am asked at least three times a week if they are identical. This surprises me, not because I clearly dress them as male and female, but because to me they look so different! I wonder if this is how mothers of identical twins feel too – like what do you mean you can’t tell them apart? They look totally different! In any case, I do hope the comments stop before they are old enough to comprehend what’s being said. It would be incredibly humiliating for a little boy to be asked if his 6 year old twin sister was his identical twin.

That’s it for this week. I’m off to the park for the afternoon. I have been trying to really take advantage of my last few weeks/months of being able to read at the park… the moment when the babies will no longer be content sitting in the stroller while the other two play is rapidly approaching and it will be several months (if not a year) after that before I can reasonably let them loose on a play structure without constantly watching. Boo.

IMG_1232

 

 

 

I Will Strengthen You and Help You (plus, my visit from a food angel)

Sometimes people ask me how I manage to stay calm, organized, and intentional with four little kids in the home. There are definitely things I do and choices I make to create that environment (see Practical Ways to Stay Rested, Do the Next Thing, and How To Catch a Break), but it would be disingenuous to leave it at that, taking all the credit for the way my household runs.

The fact is that I am picked up, encouraged, helped, and propelled forward daily by the workings of Jesus in my life. When God says I will strengthen you and help you (Isaiah 41:10) it’s no joke. I choose to take him up on his offer and I am consistently amazed by the ways in which he makes good on his promise.

As an example, this week I experienced a total “Touched By An Angel” moment that still has me reeling.

I’ve mentioned before that finances are tight around here. Now don’t you start feeling sorry for me – we clearly aren’t starving over here. No real need has ever gone unmet. We have plenty. My pants actually tell me I should have less! But because we live in a culture where the illusion of wealth surrounds us, we have had to learn the art of being content living within our means. At the moment, living within our means equates to never eating out and sticking to a relatively tight grocery budget, among other things.

Admittedly, I sometimes fail to accurately forecast and plan for the month ahead and I find myself halfway through our entire month’s grocery budget one week into the month. When this happens, we spend the last week of the month following a pretty “minimalist” menu – or as Dave Ramsey says, beans and rice, rice and beans.

Such was the case this month, when some unexpected expenses came up to derail the grocery budget a bit. Over the weekend I admitted to Eddie how off track I was and we joked about how many ways you can cook lentils, which we would be eating until April.

He’s a good sport. I have a good husband.

Beans and rice it is.

Two days later I was sitting on my living room couch in the afternoon when a woman I didn’t know came and knocked at the door.

“Hi. I’m Becky. My mother recently died and she had a deep freezer full of home grown fruits and vegetables from her garden as well as meats and cheeses. Someone told me you might be able to feed your family with this.”

Um, YES.

She rolled an ice chest into my garage and together we stuffed my freezer until I literally could not fit one more thing. There were strawberries and peaches, green beans and zucchini. Chicken, beef stew meat, and lots of steak.

Steak! It was laughable. I never buy steak! Here we were, content to spend the month on a lentil diet and God sends us STEAK!

It’s been a week and I still cannot figure out how this women knew to come to my house. I did ask who told her to come but her answer was vague and ambiguous. Maybe I’m not supposed to know.

Now, this doesn’t happen every day. A food angel doesn’t show up with a steak delivery every time I overspend, just like there’s no flu fairy who comes to watch my kids when I get sick or cleaning elf that arrives unannounced to scrub that poop accident out of my carpet.

The point is that when we choose to look to God as our source of strength, our encouragement, and our guide, we open the door for him to prove his promise true – in ways we would have never even thought of. Sometimes it’s in the form of an unexpected gift and other times it’s just the dose of energy we need to make it until nap time. It’s the encouraging verse that unexpectedly comes to mind and the general feeling of peace that washes over us in moments of high anxiety.

God has given me four children, a home, and a husband, and with that brings the potential for stress, difficulty, and chaos. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And in our home, generally, it’s not. The everyday state of the household is ordered, peaceful, and contented.

But it’s not because of me.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
Galatians 2:20

So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

 

 

Twin Summary: 44 Weeks

This is the summary for the babies’ 45th week. They were 44 weeks old.

Nursing:
I thought I would mention something about twins here that’s different. I nurse my twins far more often at night than I ever nursed the other two. I wouldn’t say it’s OFTEN, but maybe once every two weeks or so. With my first two, I don’t think I nursed them one time in the middle of the night after they started sleeping through between 4 and 5 months old. With the babies it’s different because it’s really my only defense against two crying babies.

What happens is this: one baby wakes up for some reason (they’re sick, they’re cold, they’re leg is stuck in the crib slats, whatever) and starts crying. I go in to see what all the fuss is about. I pick up the crying baby. The other baby sees me pick up the crying baby and starts crying because they too want to be picked up. So I pick up the second baby. This satisfies neither baby, because the rule for all children is that when they want to be held, they want to be held ALONE.

The only way to stop the two crying babies is to nurse them. If it ever became habitual (like they were waking up multiple times a week to nurse) I would stop, but as it stands – once every two weeks or so – I actually kind of like it. It’s peaceful and quiet and dark and it’s the just the sweetest way you can comfort two babies.

Time Change:
I know the semi-annual time change is a big deal in a lot of households, but honestly it just hasn’t ever been much of a disruption around here. I assume it’s because my kids are accustomed to going to bed when it’s light outside (hello black out curtains) and all made to stay in their rooms until I get them in the morning. Plus, I mean, they can’t tell time. So if they take an hour longer to fall asleep for the next week or something, who cares? It has no impact on our schedule.

Anyway, I did consider using the time change as a convenient time to shift everyone’s schedule thirty minutes later – making bedtime and the morning wake up time 7:30 instead of 7:00. This would give them more time to play outside now that it’s lighter later and give me more time to myself in the morning. Double win.

However, this year Eddie and I are in a small group with our church that meets one night a week at 7pm and in order to make that happen we have to put our kids to bed before we leave. We also put our kids down early on date nights. A 6:30 bedtime is more of a stretch if the normal bedtime is 7:30, instead of 7. So I decided we will keep the 7pm bedtime until our small group ends in May and then reconsider moving to a 7:30-7:30 schedule. It would be nice to have more time to be out and about in the summer!

Schedule:
7:00am Wake, Nurse
7:30am Breakfast
8:50am Nurse, then down for Nap 1 at 9am
10:45am Wake, Nurse
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Nurse, then down for Nap 2
4:30pm Wake, Nurse
5:30pm Dinner
6:30-6:50pm Nurse, then bedtime

Colds:
These babies are always sick. I think there are a combination of factors including but not limited to them sharing everything (only one baby has to pick something up somewhere for them both to get sick) and them being the 3rd and 4th child. I feel bad for them – I mean, I start to get irritated when my congestion lasts four days… they’ve had this for four months! But, such is the life of a twin, I guess.

Crawling:
Mercy started crawling on her hands and knees today. So that makes two crawling babies. Now the question is how much oxy clean I’m going to go through before they learn to walk. Somehow even a newly washed floor leaves their pants looking like a dirty mop.

RELATED POSTS:

Twin Summary: 43 Weeks

 

Discipline Delay Tactics

“I’m going to count to three! One….two….three….four…”

“If you don’t come here right now, you’re going to get a spanking!”

“You don’t want to come? Okay, I’m leaving without you… here we go….I’m walking out the door…”

These, among many others, are discipline delay tactics. On the surface, the purpose of these statements is to offer the child a second chance to obey, but in actuality the point is release the parent from the responsibility of disciplining. Discipline isn’t fun for the child or the parent, so they are hoping to avoid it by giving the child more opportunities to obey.

The problem is that delaying discipline is inherently destructive to instilling an understanding of actual obedience.

Repeating commands muddles the concept of obedience. True obedience is first time obedience. This means that the first time a request is made, the child responds appropriately. Anything short of that is not actually obedience – it’s a negotiation. By accepting that a child may need to be convinced or cajoled into following instruction, we are teaching them that obedience is a compromise involving our command and their will.

Failing to follow through devalues the parent’s word. Matthew 5:37 tells us that our yes should mean yes and our no mean no. It is important to keep our word – even to our children. If we convey an expectation (in this case, obedience) but fail to enforce it, how good is our word? If we are not found to be truthful on the little things, how then will they trust us when it comes to the big things? Establishing authority, instilling trust, and achieving obedience from our children all require that we follow through each and every time disobedience occurs.

Suggestions for achieving first time obedience:

Set Clear Expectations: This starts with communicating to them what real obedience is and our expectation. In our home, obedience means following instruction the first time it’s given and doing it without delay.

Make Eye Contact: If a child isn’t looking at you while you’re talking to them, there is a high chance they aren’t listening. Instead of hollering instruction from across the room, call the child’s name and wait for them to look directly at you before you give the command.

Speak calmly: Resist the urge to convey urgency or frustration by speaking rapidly or loudly. Children listen better when you maintain a calm, slow, quiet tone.

Be Clear: Try to state your instruction in as few words as possible. This is especially true with younger kids. Even 10 month olds are capable of understanding the word “No”, but good luck getting them to comprehend statements like “Uh-oh, that’s not safe for you to be touching, okay?” Be concise.

Require a response: Once they are old enough to talk, require children to acknowledge your instruction by responding with a “yes, mama” or something of the sort. As with responses like “please” and “thank you”, they will not remember to do this the first time or even the hundredth time you tell them to. Expect to remind them how they should respond many, many times before they start doing it naturally.

Address disobedience: When the child fails to obey, there must be a consequence. The consequence can vary – in cases of deliberate disobedience you might firmly discipline while in cases of childishness or forgetfulness you might simply pull them aside and have a conversation. You must be consistent insomuch as you always address the disobedience, not that how you address it must always be the same. The point is that you hold firm on your expectations of obedience, never allowing cases of disobedience to slide by unacknowledged.

Remember, delaying discipline in the present hinders obedience over the long term. Take the time to discipline for disobedience now and you will have significantly fewer instances of disobedience that have to be addressed in the future.

BFBNWaterMark
CHRONICLES OF A BABYWISE MOM
DISCPLINE WITHOUT SPANKING
WILEY ADVENTURES
DISCIPLINE AS DISCIPLESHIP
MAMA’S ORGANIZED CHAOS
KNOWING AND TEACHING THE FINAL DESIRED EXPECTATION
TEAM CARTWRIGHT
BIG FEELINGS: TALKING THROUGH TANTRUMS WITH YOUR CHILD
JOURNEY OF PARENTHOOD
WHEN IGNORING IS A BENEFICIAL PARENTING TOOL
LET’S BE BRAVE
DISCIPLINE IN FOSTER CARE

BFBN Week: When ignoring is a beneficial parenting tool

My oldest is a drama queen. DRAMA QUEEN. Yesterday she tripped over a pine cone in the backyard and started sobbing like her leg broke. My second, on the other hand, will come in with blood running down his shins and when I ask him what happened he’ll shrug it off with an I don’t know like he can’t even see what I’m referring to.

The drama can really get to me. It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. It makes me want to scream STOP BEING SUCH A PANSY! But over time, through many failures to control myself, I’ve discovered that the best way to handle the drama is often to IGNORE IT. There are times to talk about toughening up and The Boy Who Cried Wolf, but in-the-moment is not the right moment. It just feeds the beast.

This is not the only instance where ignoring is the best course of action. Continuing on with our week on discipline, Emily from The Journey of Parenthood is talking today about incorporating Ignoring into your “parenting toolbox.”

In her post, she identifies six situations where ignoring the behavior might be the best way to go.

For example, bedtime:

“I am a firm believer when it comes to bedtime that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Even if you set up your child for the perfect sleep environment, he or she just may not sleep. And that’s okay! I try not to stress over if my kids are actually asleep or not and just focus on if they are being quiet and staying in the bed. As long as they are quiet and in the bed then I’m golden!”

Check out her post here.

BFBNWaterMark
Twinning babywise
discipline delay tactics
CHRONICLES OF A BABYWISE MOM
Discpline Without Spanking
WILEY ADVENTURES
Discipline As Discipleship
MAMA’S ORGANIZED CHAOS
Knowing and Teaching the Final Desired Expectation
TEAM CARTWRIGHT
Big feelings: Talking through tantrums with your child
JOURNEY OF PARENTHOOD
When ignoring is a beneficial parenting tool
LET’S BE BRAVE
Discipline in Foster Care

 

 

BFBN Week: Big feelings: Talking through tantrums with your child

Today Kimberly at Team Cartwright is offering some suggestions for dealing with tantrums, including the encouragement to identify and talk about the feelings behind the tantrum. This allows the parent to address the heart, not simply the behavior.

Yep, I am one of those moms who spends a lot of time talking about feelings. When my son is melting down I try my best not to respond to just his actions, but to really get to the heart of why he is having the tantrum.  I know, it sounds crazy to think a two or three year old can get into the reasoning behind how they are behaving.  I don’t expect a total introspection session or anything, but I have seen that taking the time to help my child think through the whys does impact future behavior.  Slowly he is learning to self regulate.  My ultimate goal is to help my children become adults who can recognize and respect how they feel, without letting those feelings control them.

Read the rest of her post here, and come back tomorrow for two more posts on discipline – including mine on discipline delay tactics and first time obedience.

BFBNWaterMark
Twinning babywise
discipline delay tactics
CHRONICLES OF A BABYWISE MOM
DISCPLINE WITHOUT SPANKING
WILEY ADVENTURES
DISCIPLINE AS DISCIPLESHIP
MAMA’S ORGANIZED CHAOS
KNOWING AND TEACHING THE FINAL DESIRED EXPECTATION
TEAM CARTWRIGHT
BIG FEELINGS: TALKING THROUGH TANTRUMS WITH YOUR CHILD
JOURNEY OF PARENTHOOD
WHEN IGNORING IS A BENEFICIAL PARENTING TOOL
LET’S BE BRAVE
DISCIPLINE IN FOSTER CARE

 

BFBN Week: Discipline As Discipleship

You guys. I read today’s post from Carrie at Wiley Adventures and was like, duh.

I don’t mean “duh” like why’d you even bother to write that Carrie?.

I mean “duh” like I’ve been going about this whole thing the wrong way and it really should have been obvious to me.

“I think oftentimes, we as parents (myself included) are geared and maybe steered by society, to discipline to produce behavior either because we care so much about how we look to others or because it’s more convenient for us. The problem with both of those ideas is that they are still focused on the behavior instead of digging to the root. And if you just address the behavior and not the root, it’s not going to produce any kind of transformation. My ultimate goal as a parent, my only goal really, is lead my kids to follow after Jesus. Can I produce salvation in them? No I cannot. But I can be faithful to teach them about Jesus and His perfect word and about God’s ways. We can set the precedent in our home of faithfulness to follow after Him, and we can model those ways every day for our kids.”

Look, I have to spend all day every day with these four kids. For me, that’s motivation enough to whip them into some kind of shape. I want to actually enjoy being with them. But if I only work to produce the desired behavior, I miss the greater point. Focusing on the goal may not change my methods, but it definitely changes my motivation.

Reading Carrie’s post today was a bit of an “aha” moment for me. Click here to read what else she has to say about addressing the root of the behavior and using discipline as discipleship.

BFBNWaterMark
TWINNING BABYWISE
DISCIPLINE DELAY TACTICS
CHRONICLES OF A BABYWISE MOM
DISCPLINE WITHOUT SPANKING
WILEY ADVENTURES
DISCIPLINE AS DISCIPLESHIP
MAMA’S ORGANIZED CHAOS
KNOWING AND TEACHING THE FINAL DESIRED EXPECTATION
TEAM CARTWRIGHT
BIG FEELINGS: TALKING THROUGH TANTRUMS WITH YOUR CHILD
JOURNEY OF PARENTHOOD
WHEN IGNORING IS A BENEFICIAL PARENTING TOOL
LET’S BE BRAVE
DISCIPLINE IN FOSTER CARE